We say funny things sometimes. These are the ones we remembered in '98. "Behold! The mighty sled that I have broken!" -Quarex "My genitals are too dirty to be orally stimulated by another person whom I respect." -Sexual Repression Quiz, Question #3 "Would you find me unattractive if I invited people to have anal sex with me?" -Toasty "GIRL POWER!" -Quarex, after seeing Spice World "CUM stands for Creative Urges of Men." -Ogre "I have a yellow t-shirt, but it's got poo on it." -Chrissy "I wish you could major in chicks." "I've done awful with my chick classes." "I moved up to a D- in the last month or so, I think. Brett, man, you had easy As, but then you just slacked off." "And you cheated on a few tests." -Spirit, Dave, Quarex to Hitchcock, Spirit to Hitchcock "I wanna make a big smelly mess!" -Hitchcock "Nice Axe!" -Hrothgar to the muscular weapon shop man. "And when I'm makin', well, you know I'm gonna make, I'm gonna make a phallic symbol on my plate." -Quarex, singing along to the Proclaimers at Chili's and making a phallic symbol on his plate. "I could bust through that." -Ogre, in response to Spirit's female garbage bag condom idea. "I like Hustler magazine!" -Sarah F. "Hey, you guys wanna come up for a quick orgy?" -Kelly "Uh oh! Time to go to my favorite place! *ZAP*" -Burger King Kids Commercial, animated character annihilating little boy "I"M GOING INANE" -SwissPope "But know this. You're a damned fool who's wasting his life away with this film gig. Rock and Roll, now THAT'S where the chicks are." -RottenZ, chastizing Hitchcock "SPIDERMAN'S GOING APE SHIT!" -Spirit "Ooh, this antelope has been alive for 1000 years!" -Quarex, playing Age of Empires "Now that we know all about graphs and ordered pairs, let's do something completely different." "Let's have sex." -"Concepts in Mathematics" & Quarex "I'd be happy, too, if I had a hand up my ass all day." -Toasty, on a monkey puppet's joyous expression "When you play Rock, Paper, Scissors, you usually don't play until someone is dead." -Ogre "Yeah, like chicks really get hot when they see gus with bears." -Quarex, dropping letters in an amusing fashion. "Oh LOOK, Odin doesn't want me to see my girlfriend." -Quarex's reaction to a sudden, impassable blizzard. "Oh no." "What?" "Death." -Sarah, US, Sarah "Drew, would you like me if I was a ballchewing cum tube?" -Toasty "Is there anything evil down there, besides the Death Knight?" -Hrothgar "I know a guy whose last name is Hardcock." -Owen, not kidding "I will protect my assets, and take an arm and a leg." -Jake, ever so threateningly. "The 14th and 15th centuries collectively were one huge disaster." *huge thunderclap, lights flicker* -My History Professor & Nature "Ugh, who designed those heels? My GOD. Who wears leather??" -Jake, converting to his homosexual side while commenting on Sable. "What's eating you?" "Education." -Mis-heard profound quote between Hrothgar & Kurt "YOU HAVE A FUCKIN' 8 INTELLIGENCE, ERIK." -Jon "There was a girl living there. I hit on her. There were five kittens in the living room. I am going to bed." -Quarex "Oh, do lots of people go down on you?" "Yeah, and a lot of them do not survive." -Gary & Quarex, referring to the "Titanic" button on Quarex's crotch "I need a bomb." -Hrothgar, strongly desiring to blow up our house "It's gonna be a trip." -Lester, the evil wyrm overlord "I saw one of the girls I worked on today in my CS class." -Hrothgar "What are you, a little girl?" -Ogre to Quarex over Quarex's decision to buy "Choco Cookie Doh" candy, complete w/tiny spoon. "The King makes the Serf do all the work, then claims the reward." -Quarex, explaining to Hrothgar why Q got the better deal when the hot chick at Schnucks hit on them. "Are you doing anything important online?" "Okay. I know Claire Danes goes to Yale, and I checked the ph system, but naturally she is not in there. I narrowed down all of the girls using 'Claire' as their nickname to the one who lives in Soho, New York, as I know Claire lives in Soho. Now, assuming she is a freshman and all this information is valid, then I may well have a working e-mail address for Claire Danes." "Well, I was just wondering, cuz I am expecting a call." -Quarex & Swiss Pope & Quarex "Who?" "That one. The Gimp." -Quarex & Hrothgar "While we could be partying right now, I will instead pore over this desk atlas." -Swiss Pope "I feel like I'm possessed by the devil." -Hrothgar, awakening from another of the Hundred Groggy Afternoon Naps "Aww, man. Smoke on the water." -Quarex, musing on cigarettes tainting his drink at Denny's "Aww, c'mon! Doing you was fun!" -Toasty, cheering Quarex up "I'll put it in my. . . GOD DAMMIT YOU FUCKING WOMAN!@$!$" -Spirit "Girls <= Q*Bert" -Spirit "I can't think at all right now, I just killed too many." -Spirit "She was apparently running with a lot of heavy things, a good idea when you're blind in one eye. -Spirit, regarding his mom's knee injury Erik Erik Erik Erik Erik PHIL PHIL PHIL *** Mode change "+b *!*hrothgar@*.uiuc.edu" on channel #GoreBucket by SwisSPope Hrothgar has been kicked out of #GoreBucket by SwisSPope (Repeater) Hypocrisy.irc. -IRC "Okay guys, I tell you what. If you buy me a ski mask. . ." -Hrothgar, offering his services "One a day multivitamin. One for me, none for you." -SwissPope "I'll just grab it by the woddelywank." -Quarex, musing on the Crocodile Hunter "GOD, I am so homosexual." -RottenZ, after a long string of homoerotic actions "No, this is how you play. The highest card is the jack of spades." "The Jack of Spay-eeds!" "Okay. The highest card is the Jack of Spades, then" "The Jack of Spay-eeds!" "AAGH! THE HIGHEST CARD IS THE JACK OF SP" "The Jack of Spay-eeds!" -Glynis & Motorhead ala Quarex "I heard they've got a high water supply there, since Ron cries like a bitch." "QUOTES!" -Ogre, referring to B/N, and SwissPope & Hrothgar simultaneously "im bgi and tall and buff and scary *shows her teeth*" -Tasha (a 4'11" girl) on irc, achieving cute overload "Ogre, I peed." -SwissPope "I had too many wine tonight." -Ghort "I wish I had more girlfriends that weren't overweight." "Do they eat all your food?" -Narya & SwissPope "I love it how I am the only one in this house who ever does anything. I mean, I have to finish a bunch of problems on my take-home quiz, finish another assignment by 3, go to the tenant union, fill out a complaint form, and go see the building inspector, none of which I want to do, since I am sick and do not feel like moving, but none of you fuckers will do it, so I have to hold your hand." "Yep." "Do you have a brush?" "Not one YOU can use." -Hrothgar & Quarex "Hey Erik, do you know where the D.M.Z. in this town is?" -Ogre "I don't know if that was before or after she rode my horse." -Hrothgar "Gravity is your enemy." "Dude, you're so right." *pause* "What movie are you talking about?" *laughter* "Oh, you're talking about Secret of NIMH 2." -SwissPope, Ogre, Hrothgar "I always want to eat Chrissy's Monkey Lollipop." -Quarex "Man, that guy is uuu-uUu-gly!" -Hrothgar, the gay man "And, I have an incredible fear of pregnancy." "Ever heard of condoms?" "Condoms do not stop fear." -Quarex & Hitchcock