Quotes95? Isn't this something like Windows95? Well, yes, except Windows 95 costs less at Best Buy. ENJOY! "Mmmmmm.. fingers taste good." -Quarex "BLACK CHERRY!" -Various "14." -Swiss Pope after Jeremy Webber walked by "New Kellogg's Fruit & Spiders. Tastes so good, you'll forget the spiders!" -Quarex "Disney is 100% liquid Greed! They have amusement parks simply for the extortion of the American people, similar to Hitler's concentration camps." -Swiss Pope "Parmley is the policewoman, Butler is the sprinkled donut." -Swiss Pope "Drew + Laura = Erik Decker" -Swiss Pope "I've GOT NOTHING, I *NEED* NUDITY!" -Swiss Pope "He was a really good guy." -Quarex "Erik Bartley. " -Swiss Pope & Quarex "What will happen to TFX in the future? Dance Music Beatup. Let's try this again. What will happen to TFX in the future? Wedge." "What will happen to TFX in the past? Glasya. This is clearly not a question the spirits like to answer." -Swiss Pope & Quarex "Your life will be confusing, with many twists and turns. BUT, if you find the MINOTAUR, YOU *WIN!*" -Quarex "Pardon me while I drop the phone and walk to England." -Quarex "He's trying to fool the foolish." -The Red-Haired Demon "The Rainbow Girls? They're just a bunch of virgins that got kicked out of Girl Scouts." -Swiss Pope "Why should you bother TALKING to your baby? It can't understand you!" -Swiss Pope "I wanna be a digital outlaw!" -Quarex "We should just fuck ourselves and kill!" -Quarex "It's a raw spot on my psychic thing." -Quarex, with his best Red-Haired Demon quote impression. "ACCEPT IT! Stargate is out of the theaters!" "Damn, I only got to see it 14 times." -Somebody & Quarex "Don't you be telling ME how to regurgitate my food!" -Quarex "So is he really that stupid?" "I don't know, but it took him 21 minutes exactly to figure out philosophy." "Some days I just want to hit him, you know?" -Quarex's Algebra 2 teacher & a student of hers. No clue. "You don't know the meaning of power until you've shown a woman a candy bar." -Quarex "Maggots. Maggots! MAGGOTS!" -The opening of Quarex's speech "Okay Erik, since we're the only people who don't have any problems, I hereby proclaim US THE RULERS OF THE UNIVERSE!" -Quarex to Hrothgar "The next person to show any teen angst is going to get their fucking head ripped off." -Quarex "You see, the Sweetheart dance is a communist plot by the Unit 5 school system to make everyone seem equal. The fact that couples pay exactly twice of what one person does shows that there is no advantage to having a mate, which is the way it should be." -Quarex "I had to pee." -Greg "Zrenol Querdolastico!" -Ogre "I hereby rescue Carcass from the Cheese Shrine!" -Quarex "Paul sucks! Paul sucks! Paul sucks! Paul sucks!" -Whatever the hell that metallica-cover band was called tonight "And what was his name?" "Blztg" -The Red-Haired Demon and his Ouija board "If you don't get enough carnations, then you fail Valentine's Day." -Laura "All songs written by God." -Booklet in God's CD _The Anatomy of Addiction_ "I have many name tags and hair nets. I got them from my parents, I live with them. They're dead." -Jason Leonard "I found Boyz ][ Men: ][ in the new CD player I got." -Ghort (true story) "I want the love of your like addiction, pooh-bear I wanna be something." -misquoted valentine found on the ground today by Ogre "Do you speak Carcass?" -Quarex "It's weird thinking about your friends having sex. . . oh wow." -Anonymous "If you spell "you're" "your" one more time I'm going to shove an apostrophe up your ass." -Quarex "Would you stop being anti-social?" "I'll stop being anti-social if you admit you're not an alien without emotions." "No, keep being anti-social." -Quarex & Swiss Pope "Why does everything have to relate to penises back here?" -Voice heard in the crowd backstage at the NCHS "Our Town" prod. "I think I'll leave play practice now and go look at myself in the bathroom mirror, since I'm so vain." -Quarex "I have to. . FINISH. . REMOVING. . the tupperware. . LIDS." -Ogre "Use phone with ear." -Quarex "Why did we ever find it fun to make the blood vessels in our hands burst?" -Quarex "I'm scared to go on the playground." "Yeah, all these kids are so much bigger than I am!" -Laura & Quarex "I always make a pledge to myself to spend less money than I did the week before. This month alone, I made $1,000,000! You too can learn this amazing process!" -Quarex "Look for Quarez's new album, `The Devil Stole My Cuica!' with the hit single `Satan's Burrito'." -Quarex "Adopt me." -Quarex "DAMN these playgrounds are fucking dangerous! Why don't they have warning labels on these suspension bridge things?" -Quarex, after almost getting himself killed. "I'm a xenophobe. Wakh." -Quarex "Van Halen my ass! I learned that from alt.sex.wizards!" -Quarex "Juicifer, the new kid's drink." -Quarex "The word 'fuck' comes from the latin root 'fuckallyall.'" -Quarex "Sympathop." -Swiss Pope "HATE IS GOOD FOR THE WHOLE BODY." -Hrothgar "Sending morse code through a video tape, help me I'm trapped in Jerusalem." -Hrothgar "The Cup between the rock and the heart. Japan." -Hrothgar "Styrophone." -Quarex "We'll have a banana split with two straws." -Laura "Mmmm, try new Mopsicle!" -Quarex "Illiterature." -Swiss Pope "So when Thrash meets Mozart. ." "They get Boneless babies!" -Quarex & Swiss Pope -the sound of ThrillKil slamming into Quarex on the kite swing "ahahahhahAahaHAHahAHAHAH!" -Quarex after breaking the kite swing at Maxwell Park "The letter people are eating my legs." -Ghort -Swiss Pope attacking ThrillKil at the other Laura's house "How ya doing, baby?" "You don't have to feel me up, Jon. Where's Phil? Isn't Phil here?" "No" "Oh." -ThrillKil & Hrothgar "What are we going to do now?" "Burn" -Anyone to Ogre "I think you're looking for love in the wrong place." "What the f*ck?" "The "you will miss that lovable hyena" thing is over-doing it. . ." "This is Disney, it's the LAW to do that!" -Quarex & Hrothgar "Because he's cute and soft." -Renee "Sandpaper underwear?" "Well now, *that's* an unappealing thought." -Laura & Quarex "Some day, I'm going to hold you down and. . ." "ahahhaahahahaha" "haahahahh" "hahhahaha" (ad infinitum) -Laura & Quarex "Speed is in the eye of the speeder; time is meaningless. -Quarex "Oh no! YOU'RE JUST DOING IT TO BE GOTHIC!" -Quarex *** JanBrady has joined channel #music hi bye *** JanBrady has left channel #music later jan Yes! The rare appearance of JanBrady! HAHAHAHAHA quarex, go back to hell. it'll be cool. -Irc exchange "Oh c'mon Dave, you know me!" "Not in the biblical sense." -Hrothgar to Dave "Wouldn't it be cool if this thing had Plutonium in it?" -Jo (that's not really what she said, but it's what I heard) "We're going to go in the tube; if we're not back in five minutes, leave without us. No, I mean turn the radio down. No, you can turn the car off if we're not back in five minutes. Why do you want to turn the car off in five minutes, you're not listening to the radio! Turn the car off in five minutes if we're not back, or you can turn it off now if you want since you're not listening to the radio. Okay?" -Laura "Hey White Boy! Wanna wash my window again?" -Quarex "Memories are pain; anyone who tells you otherwise is a photographer." -Swiss Pope "REFLECTOR is an evil marauder--not a working camera." -Transformers Warning Label "Can my character do drugs?" -ThrillKil "You are now on hold." [Spanish Guitar Music] -Quarex to anyone he calls "Clumberbeep. Bunnymustard." -Ogre "I ate a date off my date on my date on that date." -Quarex, oh man, so zany im not cool im just v0ntrips -v0nTripS "fundewilli wuqicastic endians" -Ghort "Urgan Bahoot Machine" -Ghort "I'm going to go get a refill." "Maybe that's not such a good idea." -ThrillKil & Quarex "Well, I'll be right back, I have to find the funk muffin." -Ogre "BURN SHIT RIP RIDE" -Quarex's best boggle-made saying, inspired by Ghort "And, free with the purchase of every Morbid Angel album is a picture of this little girl." -Quarex after finding a picture of a little girl in his used Morbid Angel CD "We should all celebrate Jim Morrison's birthday by throwing up." -Ghort "FUCK YOU I QUIT THE BAND!" -Andy Steadman "What happened to her?" "She died." -Mr. Freeman asking Quarex how Tiechera was. I really need to stop using "He/She died" whenever I'm asked about someone. "What would you bring with you if you were stranded on a desert island?" "I would bring a man or dog, my teddy, and a life supply of Fruity Pebbles." -The Yearbook question & Carrie's response "BITCH!" "hahahaha" "What are you laughing at?" "We were just commenting on how odd your earlobes look in this dim light." -Quarex, Luke, Mollie & Luke "Did you know only 200 students from Illinois are ac AHHHHHHHH!! AHHHH!! OH GOD! AHHHH!! PAIN!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" -Hrothgar, attempting to explain something to me but unfortunately being stricken by extreme pain from an unfortunate contact accident. "LOVE IS A SHIT RUG " -Quarex's best boggle statement since the last one he made "Cocoa-demons." -Hrothgar's best attempt to say Cacodaemon "YOU ARE ALL PIECES OF GARBAGE. If someone was gang raping someone else YOU WOULD JOIN IN, MAGGOTS!" -Christian Speaker at an NCHS Assembly, in not so many words "LOOKIT YOUR HAIR! IT'S SO PRETTY!" "What were we talking about again?" -Carrie & Quarex (Carrie's cuteness wipes your mind clean) "This tastes like ASS!" -Luke "I haven't had ASS in a long time." -Quarex "Will you get me a clean set of silverware?" "That's not my job." "Well that's shitty!" -Mollie Lovell and some Old Country Buffet waitress "Your life sucks." "That's pretty bad, when a Denny's employee tells you that _your_ life sucks." "And what is *YOUR* name, sarcasm boy?" -Jessica (Denny's Hostess), Swiss Pope, Jessica "Here's your jizz!" -Luke to Mollie, handing her a Mello Yello "Come back here, my man." -Miranda to Quarex "Would you like anything else with that?" "You." -Miranda and Quarex "ANUS!" -Luke, in the middle of Free Willy 2 at the dollar theatre. So zany. "LOOK! THEY'RE TALKING! WOW!" -Pwemn We -Kdalf (Lord of Guam) when he saw Erik & Erica sitting together "You guys got a smoke?" "NO THANKS, WE HAVE *CLEAN* LUNGS!" -Mall Rat #37 to Swiss Pope "I think this could be qualified as child pornography." -Clovis, after he taped a group of 7 junior high female mall rats that were trailing us around. Us == Quarex, Swiss Pope, Pwemn We -Kdalf (Lord of Guam), and Son of the Elf of the Night. Ranger Rick was also there, enjoying the entire scene. "THIS IS GOING ON CHANNEL 10 PUBLIC ACCESS!" "Oh shit, really?" "Yes, really." "You're not kidding, are you?" "No, I'm not!" "OH NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE NO TV! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" -Swisspope & one of the mall rats "HAHAHAHAHAHA" -Everyone's response to the aforementioned mall rat incident "I got laid in my backyard once when I got real drunk." -One of the many 13 year old Mall Rats in the aforementioned tape "GOAT-SPIEL!!!" -Murmur "And now, we'll hum the national anthem while Quarex reads a public service announcement." -Shadow Tao (well, he basically said this) "Wouldn't we make a cute couple?" "Sure we would." "JESUS CHRIST, YOU'RE HUGE!" -Abby & Quarex "Nobody can get naked until I get here." "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY CAR KEYS?" -Sarah & Mollie (though not at the same time) "fuzzumfuzzumfuzzum AMY blahblah PLAYSTATION la da dee dee doo WHY DOES *.* HATE ME SO MUCH jungjungjung AMY weedlewee STEPHANIE HERMES badoodoo." -Ken (sort of) "Oh man, Drewcifer's crying. I'm not worthy to watch this." "I HATE EYELINER!" "Do you have lipstick on?" -Sarah, Quarex, one of the makeup girls, and Quarex. (These things are funny if you don't understand them) "I wish I were less eclectic so I could say 'YOU'RE A WUSS IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO DEATH METAL AND CLASSICAL ONLY!'" -Ghort "OGRE LOVES FIRE" -Seen on a locker in the costume room "If you had ever seen me in person, you would know, that i could not kick his ass, I am 5'6", and I'm really not that strong.. however, I could have gotten someone else to kick his ass, but then that would mean I needed all my homies.." -"Smelly Turd," talking about why he crashed Redman's HD rather than beating him up in real life. "I might send you a flower." "Gee, I almost got a flower once." "Well, this will be the second time you almost got one." "LOOK AT THIS DREW, I MADE LOTUS MESS UP!" -Barb, Quarex, Barb, & Damion "HEY DREW, LOOK, MY HAIR IS MORE LIKE YOURS NOW THAN EVER!" -That one girl with hair like mine, every five minutes "Rachel, you slut." "I know. HEY! " -Quarex & Rachel "LOOK! CARRIE'S HOLDING A BALLOON AND EATING CHEESE! THAT'S CUTE!!" -Quarex "What do you get if you squeeze the juice out of a god?" "DEICIDER!!" "What do you need if you're fishing in space?" "STARBAIT!" -Quarex "You show me 15 americans out there that can distinguish their colon from their anus, and I'll show you some unaverage americans." -Shadow Tao "KING ARTHUR TAKES YOUR MESSAGE AND FLEES TO SIXTH STREET." -A random sentence from fnord.exe, and a sentence that should have been in a crappy WWIV-only RPG door. "If they had a classical radio show here, they could call it 'FADE 2 BACH'." -Quarex "So some's gonna get 'em and some's not?" -Alyssa, speaking about our school's "cool zone" fiasco. She was completely unaware of how poor her grammar was in that sentence until we informed hre. "Right now, some computer geek in San Diego is finishing up an eight-billion character long high ascii code that will blow up the universe." "Huh?" -Quarex and some girl in his Computer Applications Class "Y'all like Stacy Menard, don't y'all?" -Anne Marie Toczko "Teeny boppers." "HEY! CLEAN-LUNGS! CLEAN-LUNGS@!&!$#!^# Hey, nice sideburns." -Swiss Pope & The girl #1 "NICK BARNETT'S GONNA DIE!" -Swiss Pope "Anything anyone wants to do before I steer you like sheep into the plot line?" -Ogre, before we started this week's Champions campaign "LOOK! IT'S RICH!" "AND HE'S USING GESTURES!" -Quarex & Swiss Pope in response to Media Circus' lead singer "HENS ROAM THE CITY" -Murmur's boggle saying. DAMN that's good!! "And didn't the guys in that band kill someone else's guitarist?" "No, but you're close. Count Grishnackh of Burzum killed Euronymous of Mayhem, and was imprisoned for 21 years because of it. The bassist for Emporer killed a gay man just to kill a gay man. Dark Throne's entire album that you're holding right now was written by Count Grishnackh." "Oh." -Fan #2 and Quarex, talking about Dark Throne and the Norwegian Black Metal scene "Good Lord, that was part of the song 'Transilvanian Hunger', by the true Norwegian Black Metal band Dark Throne." -Murmur, on GOAT-SPIEL, the greatest radio show ever. "All we had to do to get the sax guy to play on our song was give him some orange juice. That's all he wanted. However, the studio just got him stoned instead. So he never got his orange juice." -Phil, bassist for Honest Engine "Hey Drew, what do I smell like?" "Total crap." "I'm gonna tell her you said that." -Mollie & Quarex (she was wearing the same perfume as someone I should have recognized, although I have no idea who) "C'mon Luke, gimme a hug." "NO MOLLIE, I SMELL LIKE ASS!" -Mollie & Luke "While petting a cat. While holding a cat. With a cat. A CAT doing that." -The recurring funny as all hell "cat" theme for the yearbook. "OJ! OJ! OJ! OJ!!!!!!" -Quarex between every hour after the verdict was delivered. "Hey Stacy, write all of your info down in this little address space." "Watch it Stacy, he's hitting on you." "He can't be hitting on me, we both have dates." "Great logic there, Stacy. That's kind of like saying 'He can't be using me for money, he's got a job." -Damion, Quarex, Stacy, Quarex. You know, that really wasn't all that funny now that I think about it. "Oh sure, it's okay for DREW to have the Gummi Bear lord in a marshmallow throne, but the second *I* try it, she yells at me." -Damion "Attention teachers, the freshmen will be returning to class now." "WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!" -The announcement system at our school, then Quarex & Damion being spontaneously funny in a cool droning, nasal voice. "Do you think you're funny or something?" "No, but I think you're pretty." "Ooooooooo!" -Stacy, Quarex, Damion "Here, Aaron, have a marshmallow." " Hey, watch out. Thanks for the marshmallow, dude! Hey baby! " -Quarex & Aaron "NUNS ROAM THE CITY" -Quarex's takeoff on Murmur's cool Boggle thing "Here, take Fido Dido and all the honeys will go wild for ya. Who here wants Drew's body?" "It's not working!" "You forgot to drink your OJ this morning, didn't you Drew?" "Yeah. DAMN!" -Seth, group of girls, Quarex, Seth, Quarex "We should put out a fanzine that tells about us following people around all month." -Swiss Pope "Get out of my way, fags." -Eric Hunt to Ghort and Swiss Pope "They used a lot of Jello on the old Dick Van Dyke show." -Shadow Tao "PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB! " -The Anti-Ken Elite "Ken, if you ever litter again I'm going to kick your fucking ass." -Son of the Elf of the Night "We always called him Puke." -Swiss Pope, regarding Dan "I love you, Howard." -Quarex to Sarah "I'M HIT!" -Paul after having water spilled on his pants "I can safely say the only thing I've done in Downs is pee in a bush." -Swiss Pope "SO OWEN, I HEARD YOU'RE MOVING TO METAMORA." "YES DREW, I AM MOVING TO METAMORA." "WHAT'S THAT, OWEN? YOU'RE MOVING TO METAMORA?" "YES, I'M MOVING TO METAMORA." -Quarex & Pwemn We -Kdalf (Lord of Guam) in a vain attempt to jog Laura's failing memory "Hey Drew, guess how many people I slept with this weekend!?" "18! Woo hoo!" -Stacy & Quarex ". . .and being used as a ride is getting pretty old." "But just think, you've got the affection of four girls at your fingertips!" "Yeah, and if I traded it all in I still wouldn't have anything of value." -Quarex, Jackie, Quarex "My god, this is pure sugar!" "It's not even pure sugar! IT'S PURE EVIL!" -Hrothgar & Ghort, referring to the Mr. Misty Ghort and his girlfriend got at Dairy Queen. "Let's take that couch." -OWEN, a member of our group, when we picked up the couch that was sitting next to the dumpster and carried it into the senior lot at our high school during lunch. It will hopefully be there until time immemmorial. "I need to finish correcting the picky-poo-poo." -Quarex "And, our song is. . is. . OH GOD, NOT MORE BON JOVI! Here we go. WHAT THE FUCK? NOT TRIPPING DAISY!!" -Quarex while changing radio stations at random, trying to find Megan and his' "song". "We'll get back at about 8, and then we can sleep till noon, or twelve." -Rich "SERGIO'S GOT A WOODY!" -Aaron "But you like small, white trips, right?" -Brooke "Do you believe in psychokinesis?" -Strange old man to us at Steak & Shake "#10 Thing not to say at Steak & Shake: 'Due to the brutal nature of my killings'. . ." -Quarex "GIRLS == LOVE ME!" -Rich "Hola, Esteban!" "Hola, baby!" "Nice shades." "FUCK YOU!" -Brooke, Quarex, "Sergio", & Quarex (please note: Esteban is my "Spanish name") "What do those canisters have in them?" "Magic." "Yeah, my dad just opens them up and his job's done." -Jim, Quarex, Eric HUNT "Is this game satanic?" -Ogre, asking our gaming group "You know, I could still orbit the earth even though you're wrong." -Hrothgar to Ogre "DICE IN THE CORNER! DICE IN THE CORNER!" -Quarex "That makes me want to vomit. " -Stacy, in regards to my bread pudding with butterscotch sauce & sprinkles concoction. "Suuuuuuuuuuuu-iciiiiiiide. . ." -Clovis, and by the end of the radio show, everyone else. "I was half-asleep at 3:30 am, listening to people on the radio chanting 'suicide'". -Pwemn We -Kdalf (Lord of Guam) "See, this proves my point. Very few people can truly appreciate our sophisticated style of humour." "Yes, like when we carried around a balloon named Gordon with a face drawn on it." -Quarex & Pwemn We -Kdalf (Lord of Guam) "I'm so glad I finally got a chance to tell you how much I love your typing." -Nuprin Boy (I really wish I knew if he were being competely sarcastic or not. . before that, he had said he wished he had my skills) "Why can't you have some patience? I was pulling nails!" -Quarex's mom "AHHHHH! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" -Neo Jesus, deciding that this would be the funniest thing for the Big Bertha game at Fun Factory to scream out at random. "Hi guys. I just met Coolio in Electronics Boutique." -Paul. "It just still hasn't hit me that we met Coolio." -Neo Jesus "Hi, I'm Quarex. You might remember me from such shows as American Bandstand, or maybe Quincy. But the important thing is, I'm here now, and I'm ready for love." -Quarex "You can just have him call me." "Who are you?" "Drew." "Clay People?" "Yeah." -Quarex & Swiss Pope's Sister, when he was trying to find Swiss Pope "Dude, we got to rollerskate to Amorphis!" -Ghort "HAIL PEACH BLOCK!" -Quarex at the lunch table after Neo Jesus unleashed his "Peach Treat" (a block of frozen Peaches) "If you're a Hindu, and you're offended, call us." -Quarex, on Goat-Spiel "And Fuckin' Joe Tulley fuckin' criticized me on the fuckin' way I said goodbye to Erica." "How did you say goodbye to her?" "Well he said I shoulda kissed her, but I was coughing my fuckin' head off, stupid mother fuckin' piece of shit, I wanted to kill the fuckin' fuck. STUPID CANDY FUCKIN' BAR FUCKIN' FUCK IN A TEA-POT FUCKIN' FUCKIN' HOT-WATER FUCK!" -Swiss Pope & Quarex "You know, this morning was the first morning I ever ate Swiss Cake Rolls for breakfast. And, it was the first morning I ever felt suicidal!" -Neo Jesus "I AM SUCH A PUSSY!" -Neo Jesus "Life is out to get you, so you have to get life first!" -Quarex "The ant bait poses no threat to humans, plants, or fish. It is not meant for human consumption though, so please do not ingest it." -Memo of sorts Murmur and Shadow Tao received from their hall director in reference to the impending arrival of some 'serious' ant exterminators. "Ha ha, you look like you have Down's Syndrome!" -Unknown girl #1 to unknown girl #2 in the hallways at school "Stayin' around the town with my woman in the ground. . ." -Swiss Pope "Grand Slam, thank you ma'am!" -Swiss Pope "All right, Mike, this is the last piece of your girlfriend I'm eating." -Son of the Elf of the Night "Artichokes & shit." -ThrillKil "I tried to play Wasteland, but I just confused the hell out of myself." -Neo Jesus "Where'd you get that cupcake?" -Neo Jesus "Hey, have you ever heard of Laibach?" "Yeah! Ein fleisch, ein blut. . ." "Yeah!!! That song!!! Do you know what that's called?" "Geburt Einer Nation." "Thanks! I heard it in Europe a lot last summer and loved it!" -Jacquline & Quarex "Edible taco with shell." -Atlas "Just talkin' about blood!" -Neo Jesus "LOOK! A MOTH! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -Neo Jesus, after seeing a moth in the cafeteria "I remember all I remember." -Quarex "Tonight might take two weeks." -Ogre "YEE HAW! GET DOWN, HIPPIES!" -Some dude outside at lunch today "Look! It's the Mexican Assassin!" -Aaron, in regards to my leather-clad appearance in Spanish class. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Bad computer! I'm smarter than you and you know it!" -Stacy, deciding to finally have it out with her computer. "Hold on, I have to go pet Kendra." -Quarex "Hello. Where are your gods at?" -Hrothgar "The school is just god's urinal." -Son of Sam "Ha ha, he doesn't have any arms." -ThrillKil "Huh? The government shut down?" -Hrothgar "Do not stare directly into the printer." -Neo Jesus "My god, Jackie looks like B-Ko!" -Neo Jesus "Strawn? What the hell kind of a town name is Strawn?" -Quarex, passing through Strawn, Illinois. "The few, the orange, the dick-fuck-shit-bitch." -Ghort "Do not sit there and suck your thumb and touch that." -Hrothgar "Being in a bad mood is no excuse to be in a bad mood." -Quarex "Are you on speed?" -Becky to Bond "Are your lips burning?" -Becky to Swiss Pope "Do you know who bought me this Carmex?" "My ass." -Bond & Becky "Hold on, we have to wait for Phil." "Why? What's he doing? "He and Erica have to suck." -ThrillKil & Neo Jesus "Hey, look, Quarex!" "Isn't that cute! I wonder what it means?" -Two cheerleaders, upon passing by my locker and seeing the word "QUAREX" inscribed in black ink (as always). "'Natural' laws? The only thing that's natural is trees and shit." -Quarex, during a logic argument on irc "I always had a problem playing with cats, because they're like noodles. They just slip around and mold into whatever shape they want to." -Becky "äxx Pçoebé˜ 95" -Cryo Freeze Prison's modem when I did an auto-logoff after download. Eerie. . Exx Proeboy 95 probably means something. "Life would be so much more fun if you had to make a certain noise after saying each person's name." -Atlas (*HONK*) "Look what I did last night! I sealed my fate!" -Neo Jesus "Wurj!" -Neo Jesus "Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm pregnant." -Sarah to Murmur "And that's where I draw the line! " -ThrillKil, gesturing for effect and knocking a glass of water onto Wendy, Murmur's cousin "I found this in the Monkey's Underwear." -Weird Chinese movie on Showtime, using extremely poorly dubbed English "You screamed! You're naked, and covered in blood! Are you okay?" -EViL TOONS, what a movie! "Cool! Foreign Christmas cards!" -Quarex, being all excited-like at finding cards in Polish "Len, I'm gonna try to drive it out." "Paul, there's no way you can drive it out! We have to call a tow truck." "Len, I can drive it out. Trust me." -Len & Paul, the two extremely helpful Towanda residents who helped Quarex & Swiss Pope get Quarex's car out of a cornfield after he mistakenly drove it into one (whilst delivering Laura's Christmas Card) on December 23, 1995. "Paul, you have to keep driving forward with us pushing!" "Len, just trust me. I've gone as far as I can, now we need to go the other way. We're making progress." "Paul, you don't know what you're talking about!" "Len, just push the car." -Len & Paul again "Can I be a pork rind?" "Okay. Hey ladies, what do you think of pork rinds?" "I've never tried one, and I don't want to." -Quarex, Swiss Pope, and the girls, when we tried to decide what kind of proverbial food I was. "Drew is just a bread board; he's a little plastic thing that people chop things up on." -Swiss Pope "So, how ya been?" "Oh my god, that was so Joni!" -Neo Jesus "I'm going to draw this card, and I'm going to base my life on it." "Oh no, a swamp!" -ThrillKil "Uh, oh god it's way too tight, no no no no no." -Barb "I'm beginning to hate you, because you're always right." -Becky, after Quarex continually proved that she was wrong about EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! AHAHAHAHAahaha. . "I'm taking a vacation. . from BOYS!" -Laura G.