First off, for your reading amusement, we have the list of quotes compiled in
1993.  The fact that I actually remember which quote was the last one said in
that year bothers me, but let's not linger on that.  Enjoy!  :)

"Hex War!!"
            -Quarex

"Jurgen Baum?"
            -Quarex

"Wouldn't it be funny if it said `Bob' at the end?"
            -Neo Jesus

"Mongolia? Do they have chocolate chips? Do they make TEDDY BEARS???"
            -Ogre

"It's JUST A RAFT!!! Even SHANNON can do this!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Drew types FASTER than 2400 baud!!!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Kimberly!"
            -Orville Ketchum (as himself :>)

"The Tugboat called Eli stole my cookies!!!"
            -Quarex

"Do you wish to buy the watermelon?"
            -Quarex

"Please insert disk B."
            -Stunts Installation Program

"Contour Feathers!"
            -Compton's Multemedia Encyclopedia CD (c) (tm)

"Oh crap I forgot to get a dixie cup!!!"
            -Ghort

"Mommy, I did something good today! I took two hit points off Satan!!!"
            -Neo Jesus

[To Quarex] "Get the fuck out of my life."
            -The 7-year-old female violinist outside our school

"Hey, Mike!  Put on the GORE!  PLEEEEEASE!!!"
            -Neo Jesus' Little Sister

"Just waste all your arrows on me you old fuck!!"
            -Quarex

"Runaway Train, get out of my life..."
            -Neo Jesus

"I'm gonna go find the shopkeeper and stuff him up the ass!" <jog jog>
            -Quarex

"It's not MY fault I'm wet!!!"
            -McDonalds Patron, addressing Ghort for some reason.

"Jim Croce? Man, he's DEAD!"
            -Quarex's Mom

"The Prep King blows his Charlotte Hornets hat and summons 10,000 preps
        on horseback..."
            -Quarex

"Boomarune!"
            -Ghort

"You like-a the Monkey, Abby? You like-a the Monkey?"
            -Neo Jesus' sister Katie

"Put the Cotton back in the Egg!!"
            -Quarex

"I've got 14 MEGS of Virtues on my Drive!"
            -Neo Jesus

"WOW! A pop bottle makes a REALLY crummy telescope!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Hello, my name is Chiquita, and I make arms."
            -Quarex

"They're not gold, but they sure taste like shit!"
            -Neo Jesus

"My sister's a diabetic and she needs syringes... cut it out, you little
        bitch! She's poking me with this syringe!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Oh, you have all this candy and you give me a TOOTSIE ROLL!!"          
            -Neo Jesus

"What's this?"
"I don't know but I'll eat it!"
            -Neo Jesus's little sister & he

"It's looking at me and weeping because it can't get away from the sound."
            -Neo Jesus

"Fast Eddie got an Illegal Function Call!!!"
            -Neo Jesus

"I consumed way too much cheese this afternoon."
            -Neo Jesus

"It's not a Frisco! It's a grilled chicken! It's not a burger!"
"IT'S A BURGER!"
"NO, IT'S A GRILLED CHICKEN SANDWICH!  THEY CAN'T SAY BURGER, BECAUSE IT HAS
 NO HAMBURGER IN IT!"
            -Quarex's Mom and He

"Yo Mamma's teeth are so yellow when she opens her mouth Whacker Tracker 
 slows down!"
            -In Living Color (tm)

"Why the hell does your stupid swingy keep going?"
            -Ghort

"He comes right back! The spinach doesn't do any goddammed good!!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Nothin' worse than a feisty mayan on a cold November mornin'."
            -Ogre

"They're Mountain kids! They have sex at age five."
            -Quarex

"I'm sorry, I'm not gonna pay four dollars for Ernest."
            -Ghort

"Are you the one who left the cookies and the bible?"
            -McDonalds Employee

"Naked woman hanging upside down from the ceiling with blood dripping. Nice
        Pair."
            -Ghort

"El Gorgonzolot!"
            -Quarex

"Hello Mr. Nice President, your car is waiting outside in the limo."
            -Ghort

"I'll have an Gyro."
"May the Force be with you, my son."
            -Quarex & The Nice Old Greek Lady

"These people don't look Greek."
"ETHEL!"
            -Neo Jesus & Jack the Ripper's Cousin

"You did a good job in school today, Billy!  You get to add to the freak!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Do you like Raisin Bread?"
            -Laffy Taffy Wrapper

"I got the numbu!  I got the numbu!"
            -Neo Jesus

"If we don't get served soon I'm gonna start throwin' shit!"
            -Joe Tulley

"Look at my boobs II: The Final Confrontation!"
            -Neo Jesus

"Don't go yet! The second gate's worse than this one! In it, you must face the
        TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS! Most men run away, SCCCREEEEAMINNNG!"
            -Quarex

"Due to the shape and function of this object"
            -Dreams and what they mean.

"Is that a lane?"
"No, it's an asshole."
            -Quarex & His Dad

"It's too shitty!!!"
            -Old Woman

"Sex is like Spell Components... sometimes you get it, sometimes you Freivald."
            -Seen as the Quote Header of one of Quarex's Bluewave packets

"If the Pope came into your house and ate a banana. . ."
"I'd SHOOT him!"
            -Neo Jesus & Quarex